My view on sex workers has changed.
Artemis Simon is back with a special Q&A episode!
We received a lot of questions from YOU after her episode #26: “Sex Work with Ms. Monday Jones”. I recommend listening to that one first so this has context. We talk about everything from the importance of aftercare in BDSM play, to her hard limits and boundaries.
Artemis changed my view of sex workers. In her last episode, she told us about how sex work doesn’t necessarily mean intercourse, and can sometimes even be about healing, mentorship, education and growth.
So Alter Ego… what is it? Well it’s not about ego or ego trip. It’s really about exploring the different personalities and characteristics of who we are, internally. Not just in our interpersonal communications with others, but our intRA-personal communication with the individual persons that really add up to be us, who we are! When we are able to explore for them and express them we create such a rich life of greater happiness, greater contributions to ourself, to our families, to others, to our organizations, to our causes, and missions.
I want to thank all of the listeners that have been subscribing and giving us feedback through ratings and reviews on iTunes. I love hearing what you have to say. If you haven’t done it yet, please head on over to iTunes and leave a rating and review. Let me know what you think!
If you would like to share your Alter Ego with the world, let me know: firstname.lastname@example.org, you may also ask questions and I will answer them live on an episode for you!
Athena Rosette: Hey, Athena Rosette here, and welcome to the Alter Ego Podcast. So what is Alter Ego? It’s really about exploring the different personalities and characters as who we’re internally. Not just in our inter-personal communication with others, but in our intra-personal communication with the individual persons that really add up to be us, who we are.
When we explore for them and we express them, we create such a rich life of greater happiness, greater contributions to ourselves, to our families, to others, to our organizations, our causes, and missions.
I want to thank other listeners that has been subscribing and giving us feedback through ratings and reviews on iTunes. I love hearing what you have to say, if you haven’t done it yet, please head over to iTunes and leave us a rating and review. Let me know what you think. Make sure to connect with me on twitter and Instagram @bealterego and facebook @alteregopodcast.
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You may have recognized who that was in the intro of our show, if you did and you thought it was out Artemis Simon, you would be right! So we received a lot of questions from you, our listeners last week, and I brought Artemis Simon back on the show with this special Q and A in about her Alter Ego.
If you haven’t listened to opposite 26, “Sex Work with Miss Monday Jones”, I recommend you listen to that one before this, this make sense and is in context. Over the course of this follow-up interview, I’ll be asking specific questions directly from you. We’ll talk about everything from the importance of “after care”, to her hard limits and boundaries.
I love this format so I’ve decided to open up a QnA in section for future opposites
When you send questions or a specific request of any of our past quest, I will feature those questions and answers on our upcoming opposites. So ask away!
Send in a voice memo from your phone or a written question to Athena@BeAlterEgo.com
So back to Artemis. She changed my view of sex workers. In her last episode, she told us how sex work doesn’t necessarily mean “intercourse”. And doesn’t even have to be about a base, disconnected needs. Sometimes it can be about;
- Education and
Athena Rosette: So thanks for joining us again on the show, Artemis.
Artemis Simon: Thank you.
Athena Rosette: so let’s jump right into it. I have a question here from Sofia about “after care”, what is the importance of after care?
Artemis Simon: after care is so important and I think that it gets missed a lot.
You know when you’re taking somebody into sex work, you’re altering them.
You’re altering them in the way that they don’t have the control. And then as you’re bringing them back to reality…they were just altered, so just as you would have a drink at the bar, your mind is altered and you want to make sure that you’re supporting them. And a lot of times I just engage in what they are needing, some clients do not want to be touched afterwards and other clients want you to hold them for hours.
Athena Rosette: Has anyone ever payed you to hold them for hours?
Artemis Simon: Yes!
Athena Rosette: Wow
Artemis Simon: And usually, those clients are aware of that need and very much communicate that to me, and it gets incorporated into the session. All after care gets incorporated into this session, some more than others. Sometimes it looks like me making them a warm shower and I just line up their cloths for them and…you know giving them a long hug and then asking them to send you an e mail later with a detailed follow up. I mean there’s going to be a check-in at the beginning. I want to know how they’re doing;
- Did they lose their job?
- Is their grand mum dying?
- Was the traffic in the road frustrating?….
You know something… I want to know where they’re at because it affects them physically and emotionally, maybe in the time of play, and that would look like that usually caters towards what the client is asking for, desiring, wanting to explore. And then there’s usually about forty minutes of after care.
Athena Rosette: How long do your sessions typically last?
Artemis Simon: Minimum session is ninety minutes. I personally like two hours
Athena Rosette: That includes everything from check-in through after care?
Artemis Simon: Yes. That’s a lot of energy being exchanged. It gets exhausting… I mean if I have full day and my full day is already three clients, I’ll repeat that on the next day. My arms are sore from using a crop or sore from hitting crucial points, my mental capacity gets weaker because… It takes a lot of energy to control someone (both speakers laughs) when it’s built up for hours, that’s a lot.
Athena Rosette: Seriously, like, “Oh my God, can you just make one decision for yourself?” (both speakers laugh)….
What is the typical cost of a session?
Artemis Simon: Ninety minutes is three hundred dollars…other charges go like a hundred dollars for a half an hour from there.
Athena Rosette: are there any services you would provide that would increase the cost of that session?
Artemis Simon: Oh, yes! Of course
Athena Rosette:…like what?
Artemis Simon: Toilet training is one of them I usually tag some extra dollars to. Any sort of public play, there will be a fee attached to it.
Athena Rosette: Can I ask how much?
Artemis Simon: …depending on the scenario, but anyway from fifty to two hundred dollars.
Athena Rosette: Toilet training, public play…
Artemis Simon: There are a few things that I do not offer. And I feel that’s pretty… it seems logical to me but not to everybody. I don’t play with blood. So I don’t do any sort of needle play, any sort of menstrual play. I do not bring weapons into the mix of it, either. So there’s no knifes, there’s no guns. There might be a baseball bat… and another rule of mine is: no professional care needed afterwards. Now I mean professional care like a visit to your psychiatrist. I really want to be giving a good experience to the clients. And then I want them to reach out to me, as well, and let me know how they’re doing afterwards.
Athena Rosette: Does that ever get a kind of hairy? Especially if you’re working with…you know, extreme mental submission or humiliation, or things like that? During a session I imagine that your clients can probably look like they are really not enjoying themselves. But…they’re asking for it. How do you understand where that line as….them not needing any professional care afterwards? You know what I mean?
Artemis Simon:…true. I guess I’m just really trusting that they have some self-awareness. During a session, obviously if I’m seeing some sign somewhere through body language or eye contacts or a breathing; I’m going to do a check in. I’m going to be like, “Where are you at?” Sometimes if I see them cringe with something that’s causing them pain, I’ll ask them: “On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being the worst, where’s your pain at?”
And then knowing that you also, especially with impact play, knowing the body well enough, you get chemicals to your brain and endorphins which is going to mask the pain at first. But when you continue to smack somebody in the chest in the same sport repeatedly over and over for half an hour, so their pain tolerance is going to be a lot different in the beginning of the session and it’s going to be a half way through. You have to have awareness by looking up at the body language, and an eye contact, and breathing, and during the verbal check-in. It’s going to let me know how far I need to push them to that limit. With everybody I play with, even I my own personal life, I have a safe word.
Athena Rosette: is it the same safe word?
Artemis Simon: a lot of times it is, just so it’s easy to remember…
Athena Rosette: How would you remember twenty safe words… “Was your’s bananas, or was it coffee? I don’t remember.” (laughs)
Artemis Simon: If the sub really wants their own safe word and it’s something silly like…”chunky monkey”…
Athena Rosette: Which is probably really hard to say with a ball gag in….
Artemis Simon: I’ll play along, of course I’ll play along.
Athena Rosette: (sounding gagged) ”Chunky Monkey!”
Artemis Simon: Definitely but it’s very humorous to me to have them continue saying it with the ball gag in their mouth. But the safe word is red. That’s the one I usually use. Red to me does not mean stop completely, and all the play ends and you have to walk out the door. Red means that right now, you need it to stop…
Athena Rosette: …okay
Artemis Simon: …and we need to change the activity. Well I tell that to my clients right up front because a lot of dominatrix will be like, “Okay if you call your safe word it’s over.”….they don’t want to say the safe word because they want to keep pushing it…
Athena Rosette: …they just need a refrain
Artemis Simon: ….exactly they just need a refrain and I opt for that by saying the safe word. I also allow my clients to ask questions when in doubt. So if they’re really wondering why I’m making them turn around in a circle twenty times, blind folded…. And they’re like, “why Ms. Jones am I walking in circles”, I don’t mind if they ask the question.
Athena Rosette: What would you say to them, because I’m curious too?
Artemis Simon: It depends what going on at the moment and what I’m trying to ultimately accomplish. One thing that I do punish them for is when they don’t call me, “Ms. Jones”. And if they refer to me as “mistress” or they refer to me as “goddess”. They’re going to get a punishment. If they didn’t ask the questions correctly to begin with I don’t usually answer it. They refer to me as “Ms Jones” and then the question. If I’m trying to get them dizzy I want them to walk down the stairs blindfolded, then I just tell them that. I tell them things like, “It turns me on.”
Athena Rosette: Does your work as Ms Jones. Does that work turn you on or is it just a role play for you and in your work and your paid context?
Artemis Simon: I would be lying if I said it didn’t turn me on. I’m not going to say that every session is arousing. And because of all sorts of factors like myself. Like, what’s going on in my personal life and my stress at the moment? And I might be feeling sick at the moment, or “Is this client attractive to me?” The power of exchange is very pleasurable to me. Even if it’s not sexually arousing, it’s very satisfying to me. I think it’s a big part of who I am: being able to have that power, even if it’s just for a few moments. Even if it’s paid for, its still feeling the power.
Athena Rosette: one more question from Annie about Ms Jones: “Do you ever push your subs away from you to test their loyalty?”
Artemis Simon: No I have not pushed subs away for their loyalty…I’m really transparent and…I have told subs that I don’t want to work with them anymore, and they’ve asked me why…I would be upfront and honest. Or I say…hey you’re not obedient enough or you waste my time, or…I don’t enjoy working with you…
Athena Rosette: Is that a big one? The time wasting one? That’s my question. That’s my curiosity about it.
Artemis Simon: I gather who the time wasters are pretty quickly. You can tell when they’re calling you…. Usually asking you an abundance of questions and you’re wondering if they’re a kind of jerking off as you’re talking to them over the phone…
Athena Rosette: Got it
Artemis Simon: …asking questions in detail…
Athena Rosette: (imitating caller) “So, when you’re pegging me, would you be wearing…?”
Artemis Simon:…”Will you wear stockings?”… I’m not saying all of this is time wasters, but usually how I direct it is; “If you really would like to have a session with me, I need you to e-mail me, what your request is, please make it short. And we’ll go from there.” If they reach out and send me the e-mail, or if they don’t. And if they do send me the e-mail, do they keep it short and sweet? Or do they go into a full novel of how they want me to…strap them down on my table, and pinch their nipples until they bleed. If they’re going to write me a novel…no, I’m sure that they’re just trying to heat themselves up for a sweet masturbation session at night.
Athena Rosette: Say: “If you want me to read your long email, send me a cheque and then I’ll read them”. That can be your next response.
Artemis Simon: actually I’ve seen that on other ladies websites before, that they are more than happy to provide lengthy e-mails but they are…
Athena Rosette: …or to read lengthy e-mails. That’s what I’m saying. You’re like, “if you want me to read this”…
Artemis Simon: …”send me money!”
Athena Rosette: Yea
Artemis Simon: I like this
Athena Rosette:…there you go (both laughing) we both learned something today. “If your e-mail is more than this many words…(put a word count on it). You’ll have to pay me to read it.”
Artemis Simon:…that’s two dollars per word after (both speakers laughing)
I feel like this interview has been more about the dominatrix hat that I wear which is great…
Athena Rosette: You should talk about your other hats. I’d love to hear. I know we’ve spent a lot of times with Ms. Jones, not a lot of time with Monday Jones. I do not even know how many Joneses you have in there (both laughing)…
Artemis Simon: Ms. Monday Jones is the umbrella and underneath her…like I said is Ms. Jones, Mondays Jones and the abbreviations of Monday Jones which is “MJ”. Ms. Jones is the dominatrix and she has a very holistic approach to what she offers to her clients…and Monday Jones, as I said, is the one that is doing more of the body and energy work. More of the calms and sensual side, more of the….sensual, the sexual…the passion, the one that you would come and see for a good old fashioned… rub and tug. (both laughing)
Athena Rosette: Nice…Okay and MJ?
Artemis Simon: …And MJ, she’s fun, she’s a bit of the carrier and she definitely likes to engage in smoking marijuana, she would smoke it with the client if they want. She’s the one you’re gonna get frisky with, more of the like the “porn star”…fun and frisky and really excited about bringing you into the fun so that she could explore. She’s up with anything and everything. She’s fun and she laughs a lot and really brings you into the fun of exploring your body sexually. She makes you want to have more of a fun approach to your sexual exploration and you’ll definitely enjoy it. She’s the one who likes to dance, grind up against your body. “Playful” is the word that keeps coming to describe her.
Athena Rosette: So it seems like MJ has more of a mutual type of exchange; giving and receiving?
Artemis Simon: Yes! If it’s in a very comfortable, friendly, and playful way.
Athena Rosette: Okay
Artemis Simon: She’s a lot more mutual
Athena Rosette: So we’ve got Ms. Jones, Monday Jones, MJ. Are there others?
Artemis Simon: Mmm…No. Under Ms. Monday Jones those are the three hats that I wear, mainly.
Athena Rosette: So I notice that as you talk about all of these people even under Ms. Jones you speak about them in third person. Which to me implies that they are somebody else besides you…another part of you, or…what do you think about that?
Artemis Simon: You’re right, I did talk in the third person…I think amongst all of us…we have multiple personalities…people bring out different aspects than others. We also have our own self-image. The one that we see ourselves as, or the ones that we want to be as…so I think amongst one person there are going to be many personalities within.
Athena Rosette: Well…Ms. Monday Jones, it’s lovely to have you on the show. Thank you so much!
Artemis Simon: Thank you.
If you liked todays episode subscribe on iTunes, Google Play, or wherever you get your podcasts to get all the episodes as we release them. I love hearing from you. And I’d love to hear your requests and follow up questions about any podcast. You can send an e-mail to athena@BeAlterEgo.com with a voice memo or written questions. To get show notes, links, and pictures of Ms. Monday Jones go to www.BeAlterEgo.com. I’m Athena Rosette and thank you so much for subscribing. Please leave me a rating and review on iTunes and let me know what you think. Special thanks to Melissa Sobey and Corey Jones for voice over work and the intro and to Mike Gracia for engineering the soundscape. Love you all.